I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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