your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize