if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
