he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
