Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
