In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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