Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
