next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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