I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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