I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
