Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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