help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Randomize
