She said her name was "party"
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I came so hard my ears popped.
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