when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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