I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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