you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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