found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
