it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
