all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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