dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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