i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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