dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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