You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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