dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
