I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
