And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
