I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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