I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize