well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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