i would punch a child for taco bell
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He? As in you personified your dick?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
