i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
