it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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