his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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