I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize