I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
