I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I enjoy the company of your penis
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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