you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
