dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
