Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
