you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
