i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He better not be in your backpack
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
