Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
there was a trapeze. enough said
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
