I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize