You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
