I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize