My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize