Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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