I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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