I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
