onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize