new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
