I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
This toilet bowl is my home.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
