This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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