Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
