i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize