im gay
i know
yea but for you.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
