hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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